Auld Lang Syne
Yesterday I completed the enrollment for my girls to return to public school. This morning I dropped my three babies off and returned to an empty home, a first in a year. There were varying reasons in this decision, and I know it will be beneficial for my girls as it has been for my son returning to a public setting. However, despite the smooth transition, easy drop offs, merely a few tears upon waking from the baby, and my oldest hugging me within the judgmental walls of a high school, it has been a heavy morning.
I cannot help but feel the burden of a mother’s first high schooler. Yes, the year is halfway over, though as I opened the car door in my return, a flood of emotion overcame me. Oh, how the years go faster the older you get my friends. I turned 35 on Monday. It is downhill when your baby enters high school. Jo Jo will receive her permit this year, license next, and with the accelerated option for early graduation here, prom is merely around the corner. I can envision each of these milestones passing all too quickly.
I embrace the next chapter of her development. There are incredible moments yet to come, that I will cherish for a lifetime. Impactful memories that will aid in her maturity and mine. I do not wish to rewind, replay, or pause time. I am thankful that God has aided in my ability to never take a moment of my babies lives for granted. I have lived in every beautiful moment of their development. I have been given the greatest gift of being a stay-at-home mother for eleven incredible years, the greatest years of my life. I am thankful for the experience of being a working mom, once again.
I only need a moment today.
I have a laundry list of obligations that could easily aid in the days hours swift unraveling. However, I’m going to take my moment. Reminiscing auld lang syne. My sweet Jo Jo running from me on the playground of California, her shoulder length spiral curls bouncing with her laughter. Making snow angels in a soft blanket of new fallen snow in Utah, a sparkle of wonder and magic in her eyes. Asking me to schedule play dates in Kentucky, endless conversation of games and themes for a party. Yes, I will allow myself to be consumed with living in yesterday, today. Tomorrow, I will embrace future memories.
And for a moment, I will miss 2020. It gifted me mandatory homeschooling. It gifted me quality time in a busy world. It gifted me a tiny apartment, infested with bugs, a noisy train that ran all hours of the day and night behind my building, and a horrendous smell under the sink that no manner of calls to the office was able to remedy. But within those walls of that tiny apartment, my family played games, watched movies, and sat down to dinner every night together, for three memorable months. We shared endless laughter, conversation, and excitement for our next home we were actively looking for. I will cherish that forever.
All my love,